Eric Pickles as Simon Cowell?

Is it just me, or does this so-called Star Chamber look like these ministers are enjoying cutting a bit too much? Eric Pickles seems to of been given a star role in what could be constructed as a parody to X-Factor. I don’t follow X-Factor as I used to (I used to tell my friends to get lost if they asked me out on a Saturday night, preferring to hug up and watch Simon Cowell be loved and hated simultaneously), but the format I am used to marks a very close resemblance to the Star Chamber.

As ministers face the reality of having to cut at least 25% of their departmental budgets, Eric Pickles has been drafted in to make sure they deliver the goods. You could see it now, as the government is so sure that the public are so enthused by the prospects of cuts, Eric Pickles and the rest of the Star Chamber hosting their own TV programme where government ministers put forward proposals for cutting. Eric Pickles as Simon Cowell, where only the harshest and most painful cuts will get past him; otherwise, you will find yourself out of a job.

The stage is set, with a Treasury source commenting on how Eric Pickles would:

Enjoy holding some of his colleagues’ feet to the fire.

We will have George Osborne hosting the show, as he passes the tough duty of cutting deeply and quickly onto his most brutal cutters. And don’t worry, there will be other judges alongside Eric Pickles, including our very own Cheryl, the environmental destroyer, Caroline Spelman. She has been crucial to helping withstand the government’s “greenest government” line, leading with example by cutting the Sustainable Development Commission. All panels need their Louis Walsh’s too – and so fulfilling this vital role will be fig leaf Danny Alexander.

Now, I really don’t know where that came from – but it does sound like its own T.V staion in the making, doesn’t it!? So watch out for, maybe, a spending cuts contest coming to a TV station near you. Channel? Well, it wont be the BBC for sure – probably on Sky – during the Labour leadership election for minimal audience.

P.s – times may have changed for X-Factor, I am going on my youth experience:)! Also this was a parody, a mere joke! I don’t support the current economic policies before anyone asks!


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